


Turk Rules

by TwoCatsTailoring



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 20:00:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4450301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoCatsTailoring/pseuds/TwoCatsTailoring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Breaking in the new guy is never easy, but sometimes it is nearly impossible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turk Rules

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RemediumDraconem (Pathogenocide)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pathogenocide/gifts).



“And that,” Reno said with a sly little quirk of his mouth, wiping the gooey pus-like residue of a Chimera Bug off his face before handing Rude’s (now filthy) handkerchief back to him, “Is Rule Number 3. Kill it quick.”

They had been at this for what felt like hours. Walk a few paces, Bug. Kill it in what seemed to be the least direct and most disgusting way possible. Move forward. Kill Bug. Goo up, wipe off, repeat. It was beyond tedious and Rude was sure he was going to meet his end down here.

It was odd for three of them to be in one place at one time but the new guy, all flaxen curls and darling grins, needed a little bit of attention. Not that he was soft, of course. He wouldn’t have made Turk if he had been, but he seemed to have missed a few vital points along the way.

At least according to Reno who Rude thought, as he quietly binned the ruined square of black silk, was enjoying this far too much. Around every bend in the pipework that was the underground for the Plate and made up the sky for the Slums, another Chimera Bug lurked. Some small and easy to nail, even for the kid. But some of them were the nastier-tempered green ones. Those the kid seemed to make the kid nervous, flailing around with his nunchucks as if he picked them up yesterday. Of course he wasn’t a kid in the traditional sense but Rude couldn’t shake thinking of him as one with all the smiles and sunshine and oozing positivity.

Rude was about ready, after three hours of listening to him cheer for everyone after every Bug was defeated, to slap the sunshine right out of his head. But that would be counter productive. And besides that, Reno’s disjointed series of ‘Rules’ was getting amusing.

“Rule 8!” Reno bellowed as if everyone and their great granddad knew what it would be. “Remember Rule 8! Stand your gr.....!”

And with that, one of the big, ugly, nasty smelling green ones came out of nowhere and knocked Reno off his feet, sending him sliding towards the wall in the goo of it’s fallen brethren.

Rude had to actually try not to laugh as Nunchaku (how glad he was to not be called Fists) scurried over to Reno and tried to help him to his feet, only to end up face down in the muck as well and sprawled across Reno’s lap in a graceless heap. Thankfully for everyone's safety and Rude's own sanity, he was able to dispatch the Chimera Bug with a pair of well-places punches to the soft underbelly that it showed when it reared up to attack again.

The time was nigh. He had to do something or they were all going to spend the rest of their lives trapped in the murky underbelly of Midgar with a guy who hummed Gold Saucer tunes most of the time and Reno who seemed to be taking on the personality of a street-corner preacher.

Once all of the assorted limbs were untangled and everyone was back on the move, Rude kept alert to both danger and opportunity. Thankfully, the latter presented itself within a reasonable amount of time, and he only had to hear one last chorus of The Chocobo Dance.

Reno had cut in not long before, cutting off the tune with a stern lecture about 'never thinking it can't get any worse.' As if this would be a problem for Nunchaku who seemed to think that everything was just a stepping stone to better things. As Reno drilled home his point, Rude spotted his chance. Or Nunchaku’s chance. It did not matter which.

Just down a side hall, around an L junction, Rude saw a flicker of movement. White, an easy one. Let the kid have it alone this time, he’d do great, and maybe Rude wouldn’t be late for drinks tonight with the lovely blonde he'd met on his rounds a few days before. When Nunchaku turned his head back to agree, smiling and enthusiastic as ever, with something Reno had said (”There’s always something worse, that’s Rule Number 12!”) Rude motioned for him to fall back, pointing to the corridor with a look that communicated more in 3 seconds than Reno had in half an hour.

At least the kid wasn’t dense. Stopping to tie his shoe for a moment, Reno rolled his eyes, made an annoyed sound, and walked on. Nunchaku danced back to the hall in question and Rude walked forward as well, letting this be the new guy’s moment of glory.

“Hey guys!” The cheery call echoed and the light scrabbling of the bugs picked up at the irritating sound. “I think there’s another one down....”

He never managed to finish the statement because it got choked out of him. Rude took his turn rolling his eyes and started back to where he’d began, wondering what could be so shocking about a tiny little Chimera Bug. And why this guy was staring at the ceiling of the pipe works.

“N...n...n....nest-mother,” Nunchaku squeaked as Rude cleared the opening and looked, staring stupidly for a second before falling back, dragging Nunchaku with him as he unloaded round after round into the fourteen foot wall of ghostly white exoskeleton and clicking jaws of the clearly pissed off mother of all Chimera Bugs to ever infest Midgar’s sewers.

Reno swore loud and violent, resetting his EMR to the highest level and shocking the Queen several times. 

“You idiot!”

ZAP! 

“There’s a reason I skipped that hall!”

BZZZZZT!

“Rule Number One! Follow the leader!”

 


End file.
